She’s ‘the one’!


As far as life goals go, finding ‘the one’ has to be up there with the best of them, and never more so, perhaps, than when the discovery happens within ourselves. It might sound like a cliche, but by adopting what’s known as ‘third-person self-talk’ (or self-distancing), experts believe it’s possible to tap in to our very own ‘inner soul mate’. This technique works by changing the way we think about ourselves, to make it more in line with how we might think about others.

In terms of what's involved, the approach centres on a conscious swapping of ‘I’ for ‘she’ (or he) when recalling events of the day, or the past, for example. It's a simple tweak, but one which helps us flip the script on our inner monologue, and regard ourselves through much more compassionate eyes. Also, by creating an extension of self (separate from 'I'), it forges an impression of companionship that is key to some of the health benefits. From this regard, ‘she’ is person who has been with you at every age, and stage, of life. Given company, support, praise, affirmation and comfort, and shared each and every experience along the way. ‘She’ might be your clo