As far as life goals go, finding ‘the one’ has to be up there with the best of them, and never more so, perhaps, than when the discovery happens within ourselves. It might sound like a cliche, but by adopting what’s known as ‘third-person self-talk’ (or self-distancing), experts believe it’s possible to tap in to our very own ‘inner soul mate’. This technique works by changing the way we think about ourselves, to make it more in line with how we might think about others.
In terms of what's involved, the approach centres on a conscious swapping of ‘I’ for ‘she’ (or he) when recalling events of the day, or the past, for example. It's a simple tweak, but one which helps us flip the script on our inner monologue, and regard ourselves through much more compassionate eyes. Also, by creating an extension of self (separate from 'I'), it forges an impression of companionship that is key to some of the health benefits. From this regard, ‘she’ is person who has been with you at every age, and stage, of life. Given company, support, praise, affirmation and comfort, and shared each and every experience along the way. ‘She’ might be your closest ally, your greatest link to your past, and the person whose ever-presence makes even solitude a ‘shared experience’. This can be a great source of comfort, and is something that is summed up beautifully by our friend @happyheartflow’s recent poignant caption: ‘She's the one you've known forever. The one you go to for honest advice and genuine support. The one that accepts your quirky little habits and understands you in a way few others can. She's the one you can call at any hour~ to laugh or cry or complain... The one who's voice has been there all along, sharing secrets and dreams and singing your song when you needed to hear it most. She's the one who can read your mind, hear your heart when others can't, and who finds a way to love you just the way you are. She's your lifelong friend but so much more...shes YOU!’
Photo credit: Lauren Jacobs