top of page

The Woes of Being a ‘Worry Bag!’

Updated: May 28



It’s quite ironic really, that one of the scariest topics for a blogger to write about, or at least with any real degree of honesty, is ‘fear.’


It doesn’t just come down to not wanting to make flesh, something frightful!


It’s also (and perhaps even more so) about self-preservation.


After all, being honest about your morbid fear of taxis (yes taxis!), does risk inviting the behemoth of outsider opinion, into an already uncomfortable situation.


In the interests of authenticity, however, I’m conceding it may be worth putting the fear of judgment aside, in order to take advantage of the catharsis of ‘letting it all out!’ - in blog form!


Inevitably, the fact that so many of my fears border on ‘a bit weird,’ does make the chances of any readers finding resonance, slim to none.


However, this will not come as ‘new news’, to the person well versed in being the exception, and not the rule!


On this subject, my husband always likes to quote, of how I was the only person (out of circa 100 people) on a Fear of Flying course, to complete the theory aspect, but then purposefully swerve the practical (and arguably most important) stage of actually getting ON. THAT. PLANE!!


It’s not just planes, however, that have proved a source of dread in the past.


It’s also...

Travelling in small cars (including my beloved Figaro... pictured!)

Rivers

Boats

Motorways

People with back packs

Vehicle transporters (surely those cars could just fall off at any second!)

Cranes

High windows, above narrow pavements! (Just don't ask!)


Admittedly, it might be much easier to maintain an illusion of ‘normality’, than admit to all of the above, and foot the fallout of what it might suggest about my state of mind!


However, to what end, really, is all this bottling it all up?


Isn't all this keeping up of cool, calm appearances, going against the gospel of ‘a problem shared, is a problem halved?'


Granted, the only alternative does come with the very real risk of becoming an ‘anxiety bore’


However, with the right benevolent witness… articulated fears do at least lose some of their power.


Saying that, my current approach is proving a hybrid of these modern ‘let’s talk emotions!’ techniques, coupled with some good old fashioned ‘just get on with it!’ self-talk!!


It’s ‘faking it till you make it,’ but all the while being conscious of just how much ‘baggage’ is being squashed into submission, in the process.


It’s all in the balance, or so it seems!


In the past, too much of the former, meant I was largely alone in my catastophising! The result, was a cascade of physical symptoms, which I can now credit to the pressure cooker I created, by keeping a lid on all these bubbling, troubling ‘what ifs!’


‘It’s like squeezing jelly in your fist…’ I was once told.


It inevitably oozes out in all directions!


One of the outlets, was my face!


It gifted me with what can only be described as a bit of a ‘resting b*t*h face.’ A face which didn’t bode well for first impressions, and which belied the reality of my thoughts.


They call it catastrophic thinking, I’ve since learned, and it comes with a long, laborious un-learning process, let me tell you!


It’s a process which has, however, been helped slightly by adopting an attitude of transparency.


By spelling it out, for the benefit of those not versed in the language of ‘what if!?’


‘Taxis freak me out!!’


There… I said it!


This way, the people impacted most by ‘my issue’ (friends, family, colleagues!) can rest assured… it’s not personal, nor does it come from a place of malice.


Through this lens of better understanding,

compassion can be more readily afforded, and this goes a long way to making the already-treacherous anxiety landscape, less of a social minefield to boot!

4 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

Comments


bottom of page