Most of us are mindful of what we say to others, taking care not to be insulting, and making the effort to give compliments where they’re due.
It’s a shame, then, that these considerations and filters go awry when talking to ourselves.
Frequently, we’ll put ourselves down, and as for giving ourselves compliments... well that’s only for the arrogant, right? Wrong.
It is just as important to give self-praise, as it is to make kind observations of other people. What we say, even in our own minds, can have a dramatic impact on every aspect of our lives. Compliments and positive thoughts can filter into our subconscious and impact not only how we feel, but also how we come across and the opportunities we attact.
As Buddha is quoted to have said: “We are what we think.”
One way to start self-complimenting yourself is to practice in front of the mirror every morning. Say one thing you like about yourself, and keep a conscious watch on negative messages you may tell yourself. If they do crop up, try turning them into positive affirmations instead.
We asked @lottie_somers_ @plantpowerdoctor @bernsdettedancy_healthcoach @iamdonnaelliott what their thoughts were on self-compliments, and here’s what they said:
“Social media can be a place of comparison and competition, especially in the fitness industry. However it can also be a place where you have a voice to shout out load about your achievements and share some self love from time to time! A compliment from a stranger can feel good but a compliment from yourself can feel even better.”
‘What we say to ourselves is crucial for improving or destroying self-confidence and health. A positive internal voice is like a lifelong friend, allowing us to activate the parasympathetic nervous system and boosting our response to a healthy lifestyle or decisions. It can dictate who we spend time with, and ultimately the trajectory of our lives. Kind self talk also helps us to feel more compassionate to those around us. Complementing yourself, loving yourself and holding yourself accountable has been shown to reduce the stress response and reduce levels of circulatjng cortisol too. Give it a try and the results may just surprise you. ‘
You get to decide what your inner voice/life narrator says as it provides a running commentary of your life. So choose positive self talk and notice how your mood lifts and your anxiety dissipates when your narrator compliments you rather than finds fault. Be intentional with this and before you know it you will have a healthier more positive self talk habit.
'Complimenting yourself as part of your daily routine, may sound odd at first but it’s a really great healthy habit to get into! It’s a proven fact, that people who feel good about themselves, achieve more and are overall happier and more fulfilled people! Being able to generate this 'feel good factor' from within, rather than from external validation, is a key step in improving your self-confidence and a positive mindset. So every morning, get yourself off to a great start - look yourself in the eye in the mirror while you’re getting ready for the day ahead and tell yourself something that you really love about yourself and why! “I love my tummy because it helped me to grow my beautiful baby” or “I love my eyes because through them I see my family.” Practising this kind of self-appreciation leads to a much deeper gratitude and loving relationship with yourself - and that’s a really important relationship.'